The Ghosts That Haunt Me
oil pastels on paper
approx 17" x 20"
I was looking down at a goat that was strung up by its legs.
The goat was beautiful.
It had shiny black fur and the most gentle
Christlike look on its face.
I had cut the skin off its head from the eyes back and I was slicing and eating pieces of its 'meat'.
Suddenly I saw that the goat was only unconscious.
I realized that I would have to take its heart out and kill it because it would suffer terribly if I put the scalp back on particularly as I had eaten part of it.
It was a horrifying dilemma.
I couldn't kill the goat but I couldn't let it suffer either.
The black goat represents my unconscious.
That was easy to figure out - the word 'unconscious'
was the word I used myself in the dream to describe it.
Peeling back the unconscious (the scalp) and eating
parts of it (taking in) suggests to me that there are
some shadow issues I've integrated into my conscious personality.
But the rest of the dream is more problematic.
And "getting to the heart of everything" is going to be a bloody, painful mess.